Parents can help their kids win in wrestling and in life.
By Steve Fraser
March 23, 2010

Here are six issues that parents should be careful of and understand
when trying to help their children succeed in the sport of wrestling.

1. Caring about winning - more than skill development and their child
truly enjoying the sport.

Parents need to realize that kids develop in different stages when
growing up. A young boy’s or girl’s coordination develops as they
grow. A lot of kids under the age of ten have not yet acquired the
motor skills necessary to execute many of the complicated maneuvers in
wrestling. Kids continue to develop their motor skills throughout
their young teens and thus they develop their ability to execute the
various moves required to be successful in the sport.

Parents that focus too much on ‘winning’ may create an atmosphere
that puts extreme pressure on the young wrestler which in turn may
make the sport less fun for the individual. Having fun with wrestling
will promote young wrestlers to enjoy the act of wrestling which in
turn will motivate them to keep learning how to become better. Having
fun, regardless if they win every match or not, will keep the young
wrestler interested in the sport. This will promote them to wrestle
for a longer period of time.

Teaching young wrestlers to enjoy the sport, learn the skills and
condition the body is the key to long term success.

2. Dads (some mothers) try to be too much coach and not enough father
(or parent).

It is very important that fathers be fathers with their kids when it
comes to wrestling. The ‘one on one’ individual aspect of the sport
of wrestling is tough enough to deal with as a youngster. Most all
young wrestlers need to know - beyond doubt - that their parents love
them and support them no matter how they do on the mat. Too much push
from parents can lead to the child walking away from the sport.


3. Some parents may complain about officiating and behavior of their
child’s opponent instead of teaching their children profound
responsibility for their own actions.

There will always be ‘close calls’ and/or ‘grey area calls’
made by officials and referees on the mat. And yes, there will even be
‘bad calls’ made. This is life in wrestling (and in life - for that
matter).

At the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, we
try and teach our wrestlers to overcome all of the ‘calls’ that do
not go their way. We teach that you must take the referee out of the
equation if you don’t want close calls going the other way. In other
words, wrestlers must take their matches into their own hands.

Parents and coaches have to be careful that they don’t create an
excuse and/or reason why their wrestler did not win. It becomes an
easy crutch to say, “I got screwed by the referee and that’s why I
didn’t win.”

And as for the opponent... If the wrestler is taught great mental
toughness skills, they will have the attitude that no matter what
their opponent does it will not break their concentration and focus on
what needs to be done to succeed. Bite me, scratch me, punch me, poke
me in the eye, it doesn’t matter – I will still attack you like I
am a machine!


4. It is a powerful lesson when kids learn the value of not winning
every match. In other words, kids learn some of the greatest life
lessons from their biggest obstacles/adversities.

If we look at the big picture in life, wrestling is just one of many
activities and struggles our children will face throughout their life.
Learning how to deal with winning AND losing is what makes for strong
individuals and people of great character. Yes, we all want our
children to have success. However, the true lessons learned are the
lessons of what it takes to give your best each and every day.

Fighting through the many struggles along the way is what builds great
people. Not all of our sons and daughters will win the state, national
or world championships. But they all can win in life if they learn how
to overcome the adversities and difficult problems that wrestling and
life present.


5. This applies more to coaches: Far too much emphasis on cutting
weight and dropping to a lower weight class defeats the larger goal of
physical, emotional and mental skill development.

Cutting too much weight is no fun! We are in the toughest sport on the
planet and to add to the grueling daily work outs – NO FOOD (or
limited food) - makes for an ugly experience. Why? Why cut weight? Why
not learn the techniques, strategies and tactics while conditioning
the body and mind to execute these skills?

I am here to say that because one of my very smart high school
coaches, Masaaki Hatta (world silver medalist), convinced me to avoid
cutting weight I was able to enjoy the sport and wrestle for as long
as I did. Without this great philosophy and wisdom taught to me by
Masaaki, I would never have won an Olympic Gold medal!


6. It is of paramount importance that kids have fun and "enjoy the
battle!"

Teaching young wrestlers how to enjoy the battle, in my humble
opinion, is the key to motivating them to be all they can be in this
great sport of ours! When they have the attitude that they love the
sport and love the fight is when they will push themselves to the top
of the podium. Loving what we do is the key to success not only in
wrestling but in life itself.